Love and Money: The Number One Reason Couples Break Up and How to Fix It

By Molly Benjamin, Founder of Ladies Finance Club

Listen to the full podcast here.

Money is one of the biggest causes of relationship stress, and according to Relationships Australia, financial disagreements are a leading reason couples break up.

But here’s the good news: when couples develop strong financial skills, communicate openly, and set shared financial goals, they can avoid money-related conflicts and create a healthy financial dynamic that strengthens their relationship.

In this episode of Get Rich, I chat with Terry Condon, co-founder of The Cashflow Co, to discuss common money mistakes couples make, how to manage shared finances, and the strategies that help build financial well-being in relationships.

Why Money Conflicts Are the Biggest Threat to Relationships

One of the most common reasons couples argue about money is differences in financial mindset and habits. These habits are shaped by childhood experiences, past financial struggles, and learned behaviours from parents.

If one partner was raised in a financially cautious environment while the other grew up with a carefree approach to spending, conflicts are bound to happen. The problem is that most couples never openly discuss these differences, they make assumptions about money, leading to financial tension, misunderstandings, and resentment.

How to Improve Communication About Money in Your Relationship

The key to avoiding money-related stress is open and honest communication. Many couples avoid financial discussions because they fear arguments, but regular money conversations help strengthen trust and financial literacy.

Understand Each Other’s Money Stories

Every person has a unique money story, which shapes their attitude towards saving, spending, and investing. Start the conversation by asking:

• What was money like growing up for you?
• Did your parents discuss finances openly, or was it a stressful topic?
• How do you feel about saving, spending, and investing?

By understanding your partner’s financial mindset, you can create financial strategies that work for both of you.

Set Financial Goals as a Couple

Instead of arguing about small expenses, focus on bigger financial goals. Do you want to buy a house, save for early retirement, or invest for long-term wealth? When couples align their financial vision, day-to-day money decisions become much easier.

Share the Mental Load of Managing Money

In many relationships, one partner carries the full mental load of managing finances. This can lead to burnout, frustration, and financial blind spots.

To avoid this, divide financial responsibilities. One partner might track expenses, while the other focuses on investments and long-term wealth building. Both partners should be involved in financial decision-making to ensure transparency and shared responsibility.

The Best Way to Split Expenses in a Relationship

A major debate in couples finance is whether to combine finances or keep them separate. Some couples merge everything, while others prefer to maintain financial independence.

Terry suggests a hybrid model that allows both transparency and autonomy:

• A joint account for shared expenses like rent, mortgage, utilities, groceries, and bills
• Individual accounts for personal spending so both partners maintain financial independence
• Regular financial check-ins to track financial progress and update shared goals

According to recent research, couples who combine their financial goals and work as a team tend to have higher levels of financial well-being and lower chances of breaking up.

How to Manage Financial Power Imbalances in Relationships

A common challenge in relationships is unequal earnings, particularly when one partner takes time off work to raise children. This shift can lead to financial power imbalances and feelings of dependence.

Terry emphasises that all income in a committed relationship should be considered shared income. If one partner is managing the household and childcare, their contribution is just as valuable as earning a salary.

For women in particular, staying actively involved in financial decisions is crucial for long-term financial security. Even if you’re not currently earning, you should still be aware of investments, budgeting, and financial strategies to protect your financial independence.

How to Talk About Money Without Causing Fights

Many couples struggle to have constructive money conversations without them turning into arguments. To approach money discussions in a positive way:

• Use "we" instead of "you" – saying “How can we improve our finances together?” is better than “You spend too much.”
• Schedule regular money dates – make financial discussions part of your routine rather than something that only happens during conflicts.
• Focus on shared goals – instead of blaming each other for past mistakes, work together to improve things going forward.

When approached with the right mindset, money conversations can actually bring couples closer together rather than create distance.

How Couples Can Build a Strong Financial Future Together

Define Your Financial Life Windows

Terry introduces the concept of life windows, which represent different financial stages couples move through. Understanding these phases helps in setting realistic financial goals for each stage of life.

Track Your Finances as a Team

Both partners should have visibility over spending, savings, and investments. Using budgeting tools or scheduling regular check-ins ensures financial transparency and accountability.

Create a Personalised Financial Plan

Forget one-size-fits-all budgeting methods. Your financial plan should be tailored to your unique lifestyle and priorities. Whether that’s buying property, saving for retirement, or investing in shares, your financial plan should align with what matters most to you.

Spend Money in Alignment With Your Values

When couples clearly define their financial goals, it becomes easier to make smart spending decisions. Before making a purchase, ask: “Does this support our financial future?” If yes, great. If not, reconsider.

Strengthening Your Relationship Through Smart Money Management

At its core, money isn’t just about numbers, it’s about relationships, communication, and shared financial goals. Couples who work together on finances, make joint decisions, and build financial literacy tend to have stronger, healthier relationships.

If you and your partner want to improve your financial well-being, start with small steps. Have regular money conversations, create shared financial goals, and ensure financial responsibilities are divided fairly.

To learn more about financial strategies for couples, check out Terry’s Escape Plan 2.0 Series on Money Minded and take his financial skill score test to see where you and your partner stand.

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