Stop Overspending in 2025!
Emma Edwards Shares Money Psychology Tips to Save More

Struggling to stop spending and save? You’re not alone! Molly Benjamin and Broke Generation’s Emma Edwards are here to spill the tea on why we keep spending (even when we know we shouldn’t) and how to break the cycle for good.

From the sneaky tricks social media plays on our wallets to the emotional traps that keep us stuck in bad money habits, this episode dives deep into the real reasons we struggle to save. Emma unpacks how to reprogram your money mindset, ditch financial guilt, and set goals that actually stick.

✨ What you’ll learn:

• Why your brain wants you to spend money (and how to outsmart it!)
• The social media spending trap – and how to escape it
• Budgeting hacks that won’t make you feel deprived
• How to build a money plan that fits your life (not someone else’s)
• Quick, practical fixes to start saving today

Grab our FREE budgeting template here.

This episode is brought to you by InvestorKit, Australia’s #1 Buyers Agency for 2023 and 2024. They specialise in helping investors find high-growth properties utilising industry leading AI and data driven research process across Australia. 70%+ of the properties they purchase are off-market and they have consistently outperformed national average capital growth rates by over 49%. Whether you’re looking to build your property portfolio or secure your first investment. Check them out here.

CHAPTERS

00:00 - Welcome to Get Rich – The Podcast That Makes Women Wealthy
02:00 - Meet Emma Edwards – Breaking Down Overspending in 2025
04:00 - Why Do We Spend Even When We Know We Shouldn’t?
06:00 - The Impact of Social Media and Constant Marketing on Spending
09:00 - The Biggest Spending Traps of 2025 (New Year, New Me & FOMO)
11:00 - Setting Realistic Financial Goals That Stick
13:00 - How Our Money Beliefs Shape Our Spending Habits
17:00 - Real-Life Stories of Money Mindset Shifts
20:00 - The Emotional Side of Money: Overcoming Toxic Money Habits
24:00 - The Budgeting Struggle – Why We Fail to Stick to Budgets
27:00 - Finding a Budgeting System That Works for You
30:00 - Reverse Budgeting & Paying Yourself First
32:00 - Emma’s Personal Journey: From Hot Mess to Money Pro
36:00 - The Small, Consistent Steps to Financial Transformation
38:00 - Three Simple Actions to Start Taking Control of Your Money
40:00 - Book Recommendation & Final Thoughts

LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

National Debt Helpline: https://ndh.org.au
MoneyCare: https://www.salvationarmy.org.au/moneycare
Good Shepherd: https://goodshep.org.au/services/financial-wellbeing

CONNECT WITH EMMA EDWARDS

Website: https://thebrokegeneration.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.brokegeneration
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/emma-edwards-04716727/
TikTok: @the.brokegeneration
Newsletter: www.thebrokegeneration.com/subscribe
Book: https://amzn.to/4eLOi5x

CONNECT WITH LADIES FINANCE CLUB

Join our free Facebook group - Ladies Finance Club Money Chat
Website: https://www.ladiesfinanceclub.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ladiesfinanceclub/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/ladies-finance-club/
Newsletter: https://www.ladiesfinanceclub.com/newsletter23

TAKEAWAYS

• Many people struggle with spending due to a lack of connection to their financial reality.
• Social media has made it easier to spend impulsively.
• Women often face societal pressures that influence their spending habits.
• Setting financial goals requires understanding the emotional drivers behind spending.
• Invisible spending can lead to a disconnect from one's financial situation.
• It's essential to separate personal goals from consumerism.
• Behavioral change in finance often requires addressing underlying beliefs.
• Creating a financial narrative can help individuals manage their money better.
• Realistic goal setting is crucial for financial success.
• Understanding the emotional aspect of money can lead to better financial decisions. Awareness of financial behavior is the first step to change.
• Changing your relationship with money takes time and effort.
• Budgeting strategies should be personalized, not one-size-fits-all.
• Emotional connections to money can influence spending habits.
• Creating a budget that works for you is essential for financial stability.
• Streamlining expenses can alleviate financial stress.
• Pride in financial achievements can motivate ongoing change.
• It's important to treat savings like bills to ensure consistency.
• Financial literacy is a gradual process that evolves over time.
• Seeking help from financial counselors can provide valuable support.

SOUND BITES

"We're not wired to delay gratification."
"We're constantly being marketed to non-stop."
"Women are conditioned to want certain things."
"We need to separate goals from consumption."
"Our beliefs drive our behavior."
"When I know better, I do better."
"Just focus on awareness."
"Streamline your expenses."

TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] Welcome to Get Rich, the podcast that teaches you just that. How to get rich and stay rich. Hey, I'm Molly Benjamin. I'm the founder of Ladies Finance Club, one of Australia's largest financial education platforms for women. But before I started helping thousands of women take control with their money, I was a hot financial mess when it came to my own finances.

And not the fun kind of hot, more like Crying in a supermarket wondering where all my money went, kinda hot. But here's the thing, if I can go from financial mess to owning a share portfolio, investing in property and building wealth, then you can too. My mission is simple, to make women rich. Because when we have financial freedom, we have choices, confidence and control over our future.

Every week on Get Rich, I sit down with some of the best experts in the industry to break down how we can all start investing. Growing our money and creating long term financial security [00:01:00] without the jargon, boring bits or overwhelm. Because when women get rich, we don't just change our lives. We change the world.

So if you're ready to start making some smart money moves, hit that subscribe button and let's get rich together.

Hey, it's Molly here. Now, before we dive in, I want to give a shout out to our awesome sponsor Investor Kit. At Ladies Finance Club, we are all about helping women crush financial independence and property investing is a really smart way to do this. But let's be real, figuring out the right location, avoiding costly mistakes.

and dealing with agents. It's a lot. That's where Investor Kit comes in. They've been named Australia's Buyer Agency of the Year in 2023 and 2024, and they're here to look after you, the property investor. They know the markets inside out, back every move with solid data, and take care of the tricky stuff like research, negotiation, and even connecting you with top [00:02:00] property managers.

Whether it's your first investment property or you're building your portfolio, Investor Kit makes it.

Today I'm joined by the awesome Emma Edwards. She is the founder of the broke generation and a certified financial behavior specialist. She's going to be talking to us about how can we stop overspending in 2025 because let's be real. We all know what we should be doing with our money. But actually doing it, whew, that is a whole new story.

Now, before we dive in, please hit that subscribe button. Not only will I do a happy dance, but it allows us to bring in awesome guests like Emma to share their money wisdom with y'all. And just a quick disclaimer, this episode is not financial advice. If you need tailored support, reach out to us and we'll connect you with an awesome female advisor we know, like, love and trust.

[00:03:00] Okay. Now let's dive into how we can stop spending in 2025, Emma Edwards, so excited to have you on the podcast. Welcome. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here with you, Molly. Awesome. So I've got this question for you and I know you do a lot around behavioral finance. So my question to you, Emma, is why do so many of us spend even when we know we shouldn't?

Like, what is going on with our brains? So many things. And I think that answer kind of changes with time. You know, what I might have said, you know, I wasn't doing this 10 years ago, but if I were doing this 10 years ago, you know, the foundations of it would be the same, you know, as human beings, we're not actually wired to delay gratification.

So all of this, you know, you have to wait before you buy things like, or wait, you know, it's the same with eating food, right? I don't want to wait before I eat cake, like if I want it, I'm going to have it. We're not wired to do that. Some people are naturally better at it than others. But kind of in more modern times, that's really become, [00:04:00] uh, natural wiring aside, it's become even harder to resist temptation because there is just stuff everywhere and everything is shoppable.

And, you know, in my book, I talk about how you used to be able to see a picture of somebody wearing something and just be like, That's nice and that was the end of it and you wouldn't know where it was from and you wouldn't, you wouldn't be able to send them a message and you wouldn't be able to tap the link to go to the checkout page and now it is just so streamlined that you can just tap the picture or if they haven't said you can reverse image search.

And not only do you have the, I guess, means to purchase that thing, you know, you're on the checkout page. There's all these new mechanisms now where if you haven't got the money, Oh, don't worry. You can PayPal pay in full, or you can put it on credit or your Apple pay is right there. It's just all too easy.

So there's the stuff and then there's the external stuff as well. Yeah. And I think that invisible spending, although it's so convenient. It feels like it's not real money. And even tapping, you don't, you know, you're like, Oh yeah, boom, boom, boom. It feels [00:05:00] like it's actually not real money. No, you're not connected to your balance going down in the same way.

And if you don't check your bank account, which a lot of people don't, you don't really get that parting with the money in the same kind of way. It's just like, see, want, own. And that, the duration between those steps has become so short. Yeah, and we're just constantly being marketed to non stop like.

Whether it's online or it's like, just in everyday society, like we're just constantly getting these marketing messages pushing at us all the time. Like it's, you can see how hard it is actually to not spend for people when they're struggling with spending. And it's one of those things I think we don't want to admit nobody really wants to because of the shopaholic trope that women have been slathered Nobody wants to admit that they have a problem with spending, or that their spending isn't where they want it to be.

And so, we avoid the fact of it as well. As well as avoiding dealing with it. And, you know, we're [00:06:00] marketed to, especially as women, there's a lot of data that suggests that men and women actually spend similar amounts. on discretionary things. But for women, there's this whole other element where a lot of what we spend on are not actually things that we have chosen ourselves.

They're things that we've been conditioned to want. And it's why when I talk to people about spending, I, Often say, let go of this thing that you're buying things you don't need, like let go of the need thing, explore looking at things that you don't actually want, because where yes, men, you know, they buy golf clubs and sports memberships and all that stuff, they haven't been conditioned to want that stuff in the same way we've been conditioned to want makeup and clothing and you know, all that kind of Feminine, frivolous stuff.

There's so much more conditioning going on for us and we don't own those decisions. No, I saw the other day and it was an eyelash primer. And I was like, men have an all [00:07:00] in one body shampoo, but we have eyelash primers. Like, come on, what is this? I think this all the time about like even getting ready to do a podcast.

I'm like, God, if I was a man, I would have got up five minutes ago. I've been, you know, putting on my foundation and highlighter and setting up my light and everything. You know, the light's technical, but you know, it's just, it's just a different world. It is. And it's that headspace that takes up as well.

And this is completely off topic, but something I just. Thought was interesting that I noticed the other day. So I've been single for quite a while and I've recently met someone. And the crazy thing that happened was after I met this person, I felt like I had so much more headspace because I've been dedicating so much time.

So looking for someone to dating to, you know, and it is the keeping us, not that I'm letting myself go now, but like constant, it's just that constant thought. And then when I met the guy I'm seeing at the moment and it's getting quite serious. I actually am more creative. I've got more head space, I'm [00:08:00] less, and I'm just like, Oh, I hate that.

That's taken up so much of my head space. It shouldn't have. But yeah, it was just a interesting thing I reflected on the other day. That's really interesting, but it's true because you're thinking about how you're presenting like wherever you are. If you are looking to meet somebody, you're thinking, well, I've got to put my makeup on.

I've got to, it's not that you have to, but if you feel like you have to. And dating is expensive as well. Like, and people go, Oh, but the girl doesn't have to pay. And I'm like, I always offer, especially if I don't want to see them again. I 50 50 it, but it's not even that it's getting to the date. It's the Ubers.

It's exactly. It's the prep. Anyway, that was so on a, on another, um, what is it? I digress. I diversify. I diversify. I do actually. We can talk about that later. So we've got 2025 coming up. So what do you think are some of the biggest spending traps we're going to see? Obviously, like there's a lot on social media, we've [00:09:00] got the cost of living crisis, there's that cost of FOMO.

What do you think from what you're seeing and from the conversations you're having, what do you think are going to be those biggest traps? I think that there are, so there's the ever present traps, as we said, social media, you know, we're on social media more than ever. There's more stuff to buy. There's the, you know, the new year, new me aspect.

And I think within that, there's this pressure to spend money to become the person you're supposed to be in 2025. Like, look, I love goal setting. I love the new year energy. Don't get me wrong. But something I've had to work on myself over the years is really separating that from consumption. It is so tempting to be like, I'm going to get fit in 2025.

So I'm going to go and buy, you know, I've always got this big joke about the mini arm weights. I've had so many sets of these fucking mini arm weights throughout my life. They're always in cute little colors. And I think that it means that I'll do a little workout before bed. And I have never done a little workout before bed because I'm Going to bed.

[00:10:00] There's this pressure to, you know, buy the journal, buy this, buy that, buy the new outfit for your new brand. And I think in sort of modern self development rhetoric, dare I say, there's a bit of a trend of like doing what your higher self would do, dressing like your higher self. And I think as a concept.

That makes a lot of sense, you know, show up as the person you want to be like, don't wait until you're somewhere. But I think that because we have just been so conditioned to consume, our instinct is always, I'm going to go and buy a new outfit. Then I'm being my higher self today. So I'm going to go and buy a new outfit or I'm going to, you know, going to change my hair or I'm going to do this.

I'm going to do this. I think that's one of the biggest things going into a new year is separating the goals that you have for yourself from the ways that you might spend your money and from consumption. I think there's this other trap in terms of, particularly if you are wanting to get on top of your money and spending is a part of that.

I always say there's kind of a multitude of demons that sit within the goals that we set, and one of them is this overcorrection [00:11:00] temptation, and we want to just kind of go, right, I'm not spending over anything ever again, or I'm going to be better with money, and it's very vague, but the idea of it we have is this like perfectionistic idea where we'll never buy anything we don't need ever again, or we'll never be tempted ever again, and we're sort of sitting there on New Year's Eve or New Year's Day.

Kind of in that rational headspace and we forget that our emotions are ever going to enter our brains ever again Yeah, and we forget that we'll behave in an emotionally driven way and so we set these goals as if we're a robot when we're not and so I think that's really the delicate part of goal setting that is really the hard part is actually setting goals and approaching them in a way that You know, you and your emotional self are actually able to uphold.

Yeah, absolutely. So what do you think the answer there is? Because I'm always very like big on get the vision right, get like, what are you aiming towards? What are you working towards? Because. As you said, just because it turns the 1st of January, if you haven't actually changed [00:12:00] anything, nothing's going to change.

Like if you're not changing your behavior, but you just have this thought, like thinking is great, but it's actually the actions that make the difference. So. And I'm totally with you because I'll speak to women and they'll be like, my new year's resolution is to save more money. And I'm like, how much, what, for why?

Like, let's break it down. Have you set up that automation from your bank account? So every time you get paid, it comes in. They're like, no, I just want to save more money. And I'm like, we need to put structure around that and a system to help you fulfill that. So what do you think the answer is? Is it being more realistic with yourself and just going for those smaller milestones?

Or is it more just getting like the bigger picture, right. And then working out how to get there. Yeah, you're so right in, you know, you've got to get the vision, right. And I spent a year studying financial psychology. And one of the biggest things I remember from one of the lectures was a study that my, my two lecturers had actually run themselves.

They do a lot of kind of research in the space. And it was a study about. savings rates. And they tested two groups. One took a [00:13:00] financial literacy seminar. So your standard save for retirement. This is how much returns you could get. This is why you need to save money. And the other one was a financial psychology seminar where they talked about their goals and they bought something sentimental from home.

And the savings rates on the second seminar were just astronomically higher. But, you know, there's some other, I guess, consequential factors as well that. You know, require more research, but that on the surface really proves that you can know what to do in a rational sense. And you can have that goal of, you know, however specific it is, whether it's as vague as spend less or save more, or whether you have got, you know, I want to save 10, 000.

That alone is not enough to change your behavior. So particularly if change is involved, and for many people, there is a behavior change aspect to dealing with their finances. I think. We need to be stepping it back and looking at what is driving our behavior. So our beliefs drive our behavior. So if we have beliefs around spending, like, well, I deserve to spend my money.

I enjoy spending my money. While those things aren't [00:14:00] necessarily incorrect, we need to build in the beliefs and the mindset that is going to drive the behavior that you want, which is why I think it's really necessary and I always get people to come into themselves when setting these goals for 2025 or any year.

Because you need to understand what behaviors you're currently engaging in and the mindset that is driving them to be able to work out, okay, well, what are the behaviors that I want to be engaging in? And as you said, the outcome, and then looking at the beliefs that are going to drive those behaviors and building those in.

Because our behavior and the things we experience create evidence that either uphold or dispute. beliefs that we have. Generally, we're looking for evidence that it's going to make it fit, that it's going to uphold it. So when we know what beliefs and what behaviors are optimal, we can kind of trim both ends.

So we can manufacture our behavior. And there's a lot of, you know, effort that goes into that. And sometimes it is doing the thing you don't want to do and showing up when you don't want to, because you're kind of doing that a bit more [00:15:00] manually at first, but that creates new outcomes that then serves to uphold the positive beliefs that then make that behavior.

Your default setting. Yeah. So at first you're going to be going, Oh, I don't want to save the money or I want to buy that thing, but I'm going to save instead. And you're like, it's so much effort. I can't do this forever. But if you're working with the beliefs and the mindset piece as well, you're creating a financial experience and a financial narrative that eventually makes those beliefs drive those behaviors automatically.

The other thing is, as you said, division. So we need to be looking at why. And I have this sort of laddering technique that I suggest for people when they're setting goals that helps with both the vision piece and the action piece. So whenever you come up with a goal, because we have a habit, I used to do this all the time of just pulling an arbitrary number out of thin air and go, I want to have 10, 000.

And I'd be, I'd go, well, why? And it's just, Oh, well, because that will make me feel less ashamed of the fact that I don't have any savings. Like you've just got this. Shame piece, whereas what I get people to do is whatever they pull out, whether it is [00:16:00] spend less, whether it is save 10, 000, whether it is start investing.

First question is why, and then you push it through the why ladder until you cannot go any further. So why 10, 000? Oh, cause I read somewhere that that was a good idea. Okay. Well, why is it a good idea for you? Push it until there are no more answers. And then with the same things, how, so how am I going to save 10, 000?

Okay. Well, I'm going to. Spend less. Okay. How? Uh, well, I should probably look at the money I'm spending during the workday. Okay. How? And then we get to the actual input because we're so obsessed with the outcomes and the output. So the savings that we end up with, but what are the inputs that actually go into that?

That's kind of where we need to treat that action piece as well. Yeah. I love that. And I guess, do you have, cause sometimes I find it easier to understand when there's like real life examples. And I know we've had. Lfc ladies come through and I remember one story was she was really struggling to say that it actually came back to her parents used to fight a lot about money.

So she saw [00:17:00] this money as like this really kind of almost dangerous, like it's going to bring unhappiness into my life. It was a source of such misery for so long. So she was just self sabotaging, like money would come in and she'd be like, okay, let me spend this as fast as possible. She'd even like giving away to friends, like really interesting.

And then once that was identified. So I guess, do you have any other kind of, I guess, case studies or stories or kind of people who've maybe been through your courses or have read the book where you've seen, like, them identify that or then start those new habits? Yeah, there's so many commonalities in people's experiences that's, you know, a lot of people have that same thing where money has caused conflict, you know, in my own life, I talk about this in the book as well, I found that having my own money and spending it was a real source of like independence for me.

Like there was a lot of conflict in my family, I was an only child, I wanted to be out there being independent, and there was a sense of independence and control. So whenever I wanted to feel anything. I had this control of being able to spend. There was [00:18:00] another piece for me, and this is a really common one that I see in other people as well, is this kind of, it can happen when you have quite a narrow financial perspective.

If you haven't come from a family that's participated in things like investing or wealth creation, you can have quite a limited view of what money is actually for. And so You can think, well, if I'm not spending it, I'm only saving it and kind of, if you haven't ever had a safety net, you kind of think you don't really connect to the actual emotional benefit of that.

So that's a really big one. Another one is that people, and I relate to this myself, kind of feel like spending money is parting with money and saving money is parting with money because they're not connected to where the savings will go or what it will be for or what it could be like to be able to have money.

We kind of think, well. I'm not, I don't have it anymore, so I can either exchange it for goods and services or I can put it in my savings, which, you know, emotionally means nothing to me. So that's why we need that emotional piece as well. I was going to say, and on that as well, that's so true because I was speaking to a lady who [00:19:00] worked in finance the other day and I was like, how are you with money?

And she's like, shocking. I'm so bad with money. I'm pretty ashamed as well because I work in finance. I said, no, it's okay. Like, you know, we hear that a lot. I said, well, what, what, what's your goal? What are you working towards? Like, she's like, nothing. And I'm like, well, I think that's part of the, the issue.

Like, yeah, it's that there's just money in the savings account. It's not doing anything. There's no purpose for it. Like, you know, imagine I always say, and my mentor says this as well. It's like, imagine playing a game of soccer without any goals. Like you just, your ball would get really boring. You'd lose interest really quickly.

And it's the same with like our money. For me, I was always. Had this thing in my head that I earn money to spend money like that's why we earn it we earn it to spend it I had no idea I could be setting myself up with some really strong Foundations and I made pretty much all the mistakes you could make You can't go back only all you can do it is like okay You know, what is it?

I do better until I know better, then [00:20:00] I do better. Yeah. When I know better, I do better. Yeah. Yeah. I actually got the quote on my wall somewhere. I always stuff it up. I'm self diagnosed dyslexic, so I'm always getting my words mixed up. Yeah. I was like, okay, time to put that aside, forgive myself and move on.

I've done exactly the same things as you and I had that same view. And when you don't, you know, when you haven't grown up around or you haven't been privy to this idea that, Ooh, here's the money stress, here's the behavior that past me did to mitigate that. But within that, this, you know, you can also grow up being used to money, just being stressful.

And the more that you perpetuate that in your own life. the more of a tolerance you have for it. This is the thing that I, this, I kept repeating this pattern of every single payday. It used to be paid monthly when I lived in the UK. It's very common over there. Every month, I would say I'm going to be different next month.

But then every single month that I wasn't different, or I was, you know, changed my behavior for a week and then fell off the wagon again, every single time, you find a way. You're still here. You find a way to [00:21:00] pay that flat tire, whether you use credit, whether you take on an extra shift, whatever you do, I always found a way.

And because at that point I was working shifts, so I could always take on extra shifts or, you know, back then we worked for tips in hospitality, so I would just take on a, you know, an extra shift. and get more tips. And every time I survived, but what it did, it was just created this comfort zone of like, Oh, work it out.

I wanted to be different, but if, if I wasn't different, well, oh well. Yeah, absolutely. Cause I was very similar when I was living in London, it felt very safe and normal to be always broke. And when I remember that time I got a pay, I was working in a much higher paying job and. I probably could actually, like, I knew I had enough to save.

It was such a moment of growth and uncomfortableness to be like, I've got money in my bank account and I'm not spending it. Yeah. The hell like, and I think as well, cause all my girlfriends were all the same and we would all have like this quite this, like. Negative. Like, I'm so [00:22:00] broke. I'm so broke. Let's go out.

Ooh, let's party. Let's drink. But then when I started changing that small behavior, it was weird at start, but then all of a sudden I was like, Oh my God, I feel calm. I feel like if something happens, like I don't have to call my sister or my mom or my dad. Yeah. And I'm like, and at that age, like, this was like, I was old.

I was like, probably like 28 at the time and I was like, okay, this is actually, um, probably what I should have been doing many, many years ago, but it took me that long to have that moment. Yeah. And it can take a while for that to bake in too. Like you can start creating the changes and you have this big upward spike in like your financial situation, I guess, you know, you go from having zero dollars, pounds in the bank to, you know, 200.

But then you can, as you say, you get to this point where you're like, uh, there's money there and I haven't spent it. And when all you know what to do is spend it, it can be a bit like, okay, you know, what now? And you can actually have to work [00:23:00] quite hard to, I guess, change your relationship with those savings and allow yourself to experience that stability when you have all this evidence that you'll find a way to survive.

Flying by the CTB patterns, it's, you know, we have a very natural as humans. We have a very natural status quo bias. So no matter how desirable in theory is for us to have savings, if we aren't familiar or we're not really connected to. The benefit of having savings and the life that that creates and the emotional stability that that creates.

We can, you know, scurry back to what we know. It's kind of the same in relationships. You know, when you can get like a bit addicted to drama in relationships and get addicted to drama in money, you know, Oh, well, I'll just spend this and I'll fix it later. And it almost becomes like that sabotage becomes something we've become addicted to.

Oh, big time. Absolutely. And so for someone who's listening, who My, or maybe, maybe has a toxic relationship with money, or they're just like, I'm a hot mess when it comes to finances, but [00:24:00] I'm ready for change. And I also find when people like, Oh, I create this budget and then I just never stick to it. Like my, I'm always like, I play hard cop.

I'm like, if you want to stick to it, you can, you can do this, but you got to want it. I guess, what do you say? Cause that's a question we actually got from our audience to you and we got it quite a few times as well. Thank you. Like. I create a budget, and then I just don't stick to it. Uh, been there.

Absolutely been there. Right. Although I probably didn't even create the budget. I was a big fan of what I call the napkin budget, where it would be scribbled down in a frenzy. And it would be like, right, if I pay that, and I pay that, and then I pay that, Oh! 20 pounds for the next 11 days, that'll be fine!

It'll bring this like, psychological relief for a little bit, but before long, you know, you're You realize that it's not going to happen. And often when you put that much pressure on you, on yourself, even if realistically, you know, under perfect circumstances, you could last 12 days on 20 pounds. You know, you've created such a pressure cooker [00:25:00] that you're, you're just, you're going to pop.

You're not actually going to stick to that. So my first thing is if you're not sticking to your budget, the budgeting approach is wrong. A budget is not a budget. It's not a budget. There are so many ways that you can do it. And I talk about this a lot in terms of, you know, whether some people are a real, like, hands on, zero based budgeter, every dollar has a job, and, you know, we're seeing a lot of explosion of this budget with me, content on social media, which is great because it gets people talking about budgeting.

But it does create, and I've seen this in my Facebook group, it does create this kind of narrative that the best way to budget is with this, like, Absolutely hardcore spreadsheet and there's pie charts and tabs like coming up the wazoo and you're like, I can't do that when I see people do that. I'm like, I don't even know how to work.

Exactly. And particularly if you've got ADHD, look for some people, they hyper focus and the ADHD makes them want to Keep doing it. For other people, and this is particularly me, I will forget that the spreadsheet and I are even on the [00:26:00] same planet, I won't input my spending, and then the whole thing's blown out, and then I feel like I have to wait to the next pay cycle to start again, which is what we don't want.

And I'm not going to prescribe a budgeting strategy because everybody is different. Personally, I found success with The, they'd call it a reverse budget or the pay yourself first. So you do the need to do's. So you put money into savings and you pay your bills and expenses. A big one within that, whatever budgeting strategy you're using.

The only thing I will ever prescribe is streamline your expenses. I used to have this good fortnight, bad fortnight, where I was paid fortnightly. In one of the fortnights, my rent was due, my bills were due, my car insurance was due, so I had no money. And it was awful, so I was always borrowing from myself.

At second fortnight, nothing was due, so I spent all my money. I wasn't spreading it across. So I've got a, you know, free calculator I can put in the show notes if you like. Input all your expenses and make sure that you're setting aside an equal amount from every payday if you are paid on a salary. Equal amount from every payday towards those bills, because that is gonna take off, [00:27:00] that's gonna make sure that your requirements and your needs are met.

And then everything else, whatever else you do, you can work on massaging your behavior to make that fit, knowing that you're not spending the money that you're meant to be putting towards your rent or your mortgage. So that's personally what I do, but the biggest thing with budgeting strategies is not relying on a cookie cutter strategy forever.

It might work to get you started. And if it does go nuts, but you've got to make, I always say the best budgeting strategies are ones that you cannot succinctly explain to someone else because I've got my spontaneity account. I've got this, I've got my little, you know, I have my, my margin for error because I know that some weeks I will spend next to nothing and other weeks I'll spend double what I'm supposed to just because of the way my schedule is.

So I have my margin for error so that that. But that's not in any, you know, it's what's in my book, but it's not in any like prescribed budgeting strategy. So I always say to people, get to know your own behavioral tendencies. What are you like with other [00:28:00] things? Are you a type A planner or are you a bit of a, you know, wing it and see how I feel person?

A really good way to assess this is what do you do when you're going on holiday? Do you have like hour by hour itinerary? Or do you just want to see how you feel? Often the way we are with that is the way we are with our budget as well. What do you like with food? What do you like with exercise? You know, I was going to say food.

I find is like, I don't want to eat. And it's funny cause I kind of manage my, you know, food shopping and eating in a similar way to my budget. I plan. And I've got enough meals for the week, but I don't say Monday, lasagna, Tuesday, tacos, because I might want tacos on Tuesday. I'm not telling myself that. So I'll have my meals, but I make sure that they're things that aren't super perishable so that I can mix it around.

I probably order food, but I don't order food on the apps anymore. That's a whole thing. But I sometimes go to my local like Indian and pick something up, probably do that once a fortnight ish, but it's not like Saturday night takeaway. It's whenever I feel like it, because I, again, [00:29:00] it's that independence piece for me.

I don't like rules, it's why I have to be self employed, because I just can't stick to the rules. But, yeah. So really, just, just work out what, how you like to do things. We all get things done in the day, we all get our laundry done, we all brush our teeth. Some people like to do it at a set time, on a set day.

Some people like to have more autonomy. Start there. Yeah. Yeah. And then try different things, try the different budgeting strategies and see what is working. Yeah. And remember as well, guys, if you're listening and you're like, Oh, I've tried some, they say it does take like over 90 days to get it right. And also what works for me, I have a twin sister.

It doesn't work for her. We're twins and we have completely different ways we manage our money. But as you said, I think it's about actually coming up with a system. And really at the end of the day, all you're doing is telling your money where to go. So you're not going where, where exactly. Yeah. And I love how you say, you [00:30:00] know, with the pay yourself first and it's literally like treating your savings like bills.

So you're just putting that money away. Like, okay, cool. I'd love to hear anyone's experience from doing that. And I, I get so intrigued with how people budget as well, cause there's so many different ways, but I do really love how you say, like, there's not like one prescribed way. Like this will work. I always love to teach like that there's, you know, you don't have to have everything in the one because that's really confusing.

So definitely have those different kind of fee free accounts, but then, you know, come up with a system that works for you. Something I do personally is. I like to know every week how much I can spend on groceries. So I have my food account and that's just like money that I, you know, spend at Coles or Woolworths or Audi.

And for some reason I just like to know. So again, it's coming up with your own little, own little systems. So that kind of helps where we've got that person who's had that toxic relationship and then they can step by step and then they've got some ideas there for their [00:31:00] budgeting as well. Just, sorry, one thing on that as well, just, I was just thinking then about if your budget's not working.

I think just coming back to the piece we talked about earlier with your beliefs and your behavior being interconnected, the more times you try and quote unquote fail at a budget, that is creating this sort of negative relationship with the concept of a budget, which may be Driving your behavior to buck the budget because you're like, well, maybe there's a fear of failure, or you just have this belief that they don't work.

So I think potentially, however long this has been going on and and what kind of relationship you have with budgets, you've tried thinking about, again, what kinds of behaviors do you need for the budget to work? What kinds of beliefs are gonna enforce those behaviors? Yeah. And so we've touched on it a little bit, Emma, but for those who are listening and might have just come across you.

So you had a similar kind of, were you kind of like hot mess finance? Was that your starting point as well? And, and what was the turning point for you? The turning point for me, [00:32:00] it's funny, there was sort of a turning point, everyone kind of goes, but what changed? Like, how did you go from being that person?

And you know, everybody wants like the smoking gun, you know, I'd say one of the first things that made me sort of realize, cause I think for a really long time, as much as I wanted to be better with money, I didn't quite see how much I needed to. I mean, you touched on it before and I don't know if it's a, a UK thing or just that stage of life, but I honestly thought we were all in the same boat.

Like I thought we were all bad with money. I didn't really realize that anybody was any different. And again, that financial perspective, I didn't really know that it would ever change right now. Yeah. I was stressed because I would. Spend my money on nights out and a coat from Topshop that I probably shouldn't have bought but you know in my mind I wasn't doing anything crazy wrong.

I was like, well, this is just my stage of life And then when I'm older, I've got more responsibilities like money will be stressful in a different way I didn't really see any different. It wasn't until I kind of got to my mid twenties and people started buying houses And I was like, ooh, and don't get me [00:33:00] wrong, there's, you know, there's aspects of probably help from parents and stuff there.

But, you know, it's not just the, you can't buy a house with just the deposit. You've got to have some kind of savings, evidence of savings, some kind of ability to manage money, even being emotionally comfortable with doing that. I described that moment is, I don't know if anybody's ever watched Sex and the City, but there's this episode where Carrie's laptop gets just wiped of all of her work.

She goes to the laptop store and everybody keeps asking her, like, when did you last back up your work? And she was like, no one is talking about backing up their work. Why are you now telling me you've all been backing up your work for years? That was how I felt with money. I was like, not one of you told me that you were saving money.

Like, it's almost like we, particularly as women, I don't know if it's a female thing, we sort of cosplay being bad with money, even if we are saving a bit, because it feels like that's what everybody's doing. Don't get me wrong. I don't know if it's the same now with social media being a bit more, you know, money being a bit more in the mainstream because of social media, but I [00:34:00] definitely used to think that people that never really spent any money were boring and, oh, they're a bit tight.

Oh, it's so annoying going out with her cause she like never wants to buy any drinks or like she never pays for the taxi. Do you know what I mean? Don't get me wrong. There's a line that you've got to pay your way. But yeah, I, that was kind of the, where my perspective started to change, but my behavior, you know, I was still working on my is such a long process.

But I kind of thought, yeah, wow, I'm pretty far away from doing this. I'd also sort of realized that, like, I spent a lot of money that I had earned on kind of maintaining a long distance relationship. Thankfully, I married him, so it wasn't all for nothing. Um, it was an investment. I left the UK a couple of years after I finished my studies, and because I was having this long distance relationship, I stayed working in hospitality rather than getting like a graduate job.

And I think I just sort of realized that I'd been, I don't want to say putting my life on hold, but I'd been very much like living in the [00:35:00] now, and I don't mean that in like a lavish way, like I wasn't doing anything fancy, I just wasn't thinking about my future self. And really what that prompted me to do was read, I can't even remember the first money book I read, but I just started reading these books.

I found sort of the debt free community on social media as it was back then. Very, um, you know, you know, personal diary type thing. And I'd started to go down the path of wanting to buy property and realizing this, you know, great big hill it was to climb and thinking, Oh God, this is You know, if only I'd been saving all of this time and it just sort of gradually started to open my eyes to a new way of living almost where it doesn't need to be super restrictive.

I think I thought that when I did fix my finances. It would mean, you know, never buying anything ever again and leaving this old life behind and having to be this really boring person and never having any fun. And so I never wanted to do it, but I sort of started to, I guess, emotionally [00:36:00] connect to paying down my debt.

And noticing the benefit of that and then kind of going, wow, like, yeah, I might earn not very much, but I can still put a little amount every way away every fortnight. And that builds up. And then, you know, when I do go back to the UK for a friend's wedding or to see friends and family or whatever, it's not this great big stressful experience.

Like I can save up for that throughout the year. And I think it was, it was almost like, this sounds really naff, but it was almost like I met my future self and decided to stop screwing her over. Yeah, it wasn't, you know, I woke up one day, it was what everybody wants and that's what we want with all change because we, yeah, we've been conditioned to have this like, this overnight change and the montage and the movie and everything's different.

It was honestly just so gradual and that, honestly, that change is still happening now. I'm still evolving because I'm now at a point where I've got. 50, 000 invested in the share market. You know, nobody in my family has ever done that. Like I never, I didn't know what investments were outside of, you know, corporate investments.

I didn't know that individual people could do that. And so [00:37:00] now I'm having to speaking to those beliefs and that psychology pieces, I'm really having to kind of calibrate my reality to everything I ever knew I'm living, you know, I'm working for myself and 100, 000 last year for the first time at the ripe old age of 33.

I never thought I would, um, and you know, that. In the grand scheme of things, that's not even that much above the average income now, but I never thought I would earn money like that. And if you're not sort of with your finger on the pulse about that stuff, you really have to calibrate where you're at with the mindset that you've, that's been baked in there for all those years.

Otherwise you will get uncomfortable in sabotage and the temptation, you know, does come up sometimes. I think you really nailed then when you said, you know, I'm still working on it. It's just small things. Not this big dramatic change. I always say that to people, like, you know, it's just small, consistent changes as opposed to these big life, like, Oh my God, it's the, yeah, it's the new me.

Cause that, no, it doesn't work with anything. No, it has to be a part [00:38:00] of your life. Yeah. So I guess to finish up, if someone's listening, what maybe just like three small actions, someone who is a bit of a hot financial mess and they're ready for that next step. That, to level up and even if it's just small things, what, what are three things that they can go off and do after listening to this?

First thing is let go of everything else that your brain feels like you want to do right now to change this and just focus on awareness. So whether that is looking at your savings account, your credit card bill, your bank statements for the last however long, three months or something, just go on a data hunt.

Just work out what it is that we're working with because even people that are good with money, even myself, we will misattribute our financial behavior when we're not using the actual concrete data. You know, we underestimate what we're spending. We might overestimate in another category. Just get aware of where your money is going on, what the current situation is, what the behaviors are that you're engaging in and the outcome that that is creating.

Just this is what [00:39:00] I'm doing now. And this is the outcome that it's giving me. Second thing, you know, we have the beauty of being at the beginning of a brand new year. So that's exciting. Think about, and this can take some time if you haven't done this before, but think about yourself in one year's time and what could you do with your finances that would make your future self proud, proud, but pride I've found is one of my most motivating emotions, I suppose it is.

And. What pride does is it creates momentum and momentum creates ongoing behavior change. So that's really helpful. If you can think, how can I make myself proud? Would it be halving my debt? Would it be having a thousand dollars in savings? Would it be having an emergency fund? What would that look like?

And really focus on making yourself proud rather than that mathematical thing. Cause that emergency fund really means nothing unless you're connected to what it's doing for you. And number three would be streamline your expenses. If you're not already doing it, it's such a boring one, but find a way to be putting an equal amount aside from [00:40:00] every payday to cover your bills.

You know, using sinking funds for those bigger expenses. You know, your car insurance, split it by the number of months between now and when it's due. Same with all your other bills so that you're not having this really, you know, you can't see it because it's on video, but I'm gesticulating this up and down.

When it's up and down mathematically, it's up and down emotionally too. So that's that connection. And what I love about those three things are they are simple things to do. We're not rewriting like these big finance, big finance plans here. Those are three really simple, practical things to do that literally anyone can do.

So I love that. And then final question I ask all my guests is what are you reading at the moment, or have you read anything recently that you would recommend? I am reading my advanced copy of my very good friend and podcast co host Victoria Vivente. She's written a new book called Know Your Worth.

She's an ex financial counselor. So it's a really interesting take, some [00:41:00] really, really Meaningful stories in there about how people that have come to financial counseling or financial coaching, their relationship with money, big, big bits on shame and how we can let go of that to ultimately embrace our worth.

So that is what I'm reading at the moment. Amazing. And shout out to financial counselors out there. I call them the angels of the finance world. If you are someone who is struggling with debt, it is a free service in Australia. There's a national. That helpline. And then there is also money care, Good Shepherd.

There's a whole bunch of them out there that you can go check out. Emma, this has been so awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me. And I'll pop all your links in the show notes. But if someone's like, Oh my God, I need more of Emma right now. Where can they find you? You can find me on Instagram because I'm too old for Tik TOK.

It's at the dot broke generation. I'm I'm there a lot. And also my book is called good with money and it is. Right. Yellow. You cannot miss it in the money [00:42:00] section. Awesome. Thanks. Thank you.

KEYWORDS

behavioral finance, spending habits, emotional spending, financial goals, social media influence, consumer behavior, money management, financial psychology, spending traps, personal finance, financial awareness, budgeting strategies, money management, personal finance, financial stability, emotional relationship with money, savings, debt management, financial literacy, financial independence